a letter to nostalgia

This is to an old friend, someone I used to be close too. I guess time changes, and so does friendship.

Dearest anonymous,

You probably won’t read this, but I’m still going to put this up anyway. I remember the first time I met you, you were one year younger than me and we were in the same tennis class. I knew you were familiar, but I couldn’t place you anywhere. When we started talking, I found out that we were in the same school. Though we weren’t good friends, we still had something in common and we always acknowledged each other whenever we saw each other. A year later, I graduated from primary school and moved up to secondary school.

A year passed, and I did not see you until the beginner of last year. I was obviously pleasantly surprised and I assume you were. As we had mutual friends, our friendship grew stronger and we became closer. I still remember the memories, the laughter, the pet names and the pictures. In fact, I still have a couple stored in my computer. Remember your birthday in school? The cake fight? That was fun, how about the time we spent after school, waiting for our CCAs to commence? Perhaps you don’t remember them, seeing that now you have your own group of friends and I have mine. That separates me from you, dear anonymous; that I treasure our memories and I considered you as a friend. But nowadays perhaps, you are too popular to notice me; let alone spend time with me.

That’s when it all started. In July, after the June holidays. You had grown closer to a new group of friends and the distance between us had grown. Now, please don’t get this wrong; I’m not some jealous, psycho ex-lover and I apologize deeply if I come across as doing so because I most definitely do not intend to do so. Day by day, our conversations become stilted, and there are times when I say hi and you completely ignore me, even though I’m standing right in front of you.

So anonymous, please don’t be like that anymore. If you really dislike me, I prefer you stop talking to me completely and I can do the same for you. But if you want to continue being friends, then I suggest; stop treating me like a second fiddle to others, because I have feelings too. Just to let you know, I have never called you names, or bitched about you. You may disagree, but I’ve never insulted you and my conscience is crystal. I hope you’ve got your facts right, because misunderstanding can cause irreparable damage, and scabs never fully heal. As my friend Sonia said, “There’s a point in your life, when you realize who matters, who never did, and who always will.” I guess I never really mattered in yours.

Love,
Wei Wen